If I thought January was bad, February was marginally worse.
I started the month hearing some news that, despite everything, I didn’t want to hear; “Due to funding we are unable to take your job forward.”
At the time, I was more than okay with this; emotionally I was struggling, and it was never the job I wanted to have, but.. The whole situation is weird to me, but I’ll explain myself next month, when it’s over.
Knowing I had the best part of two months left, I realised that if I ever wanted to get my dream job I had to get back to WordPress. After a somewhat self-imposed hiatus – which I’m intending to talk about soon – it honestly felt good to get back to this blog.
I’ve revamped it and I feel like I know a lot more about blogging and certainly where I want to go.
February wasn’t all doom and gloom.
I met Grace Helbig. Yep, actual Grace Helbig, from The Internet and comedy and tv and books. Here she is, looking like a goddess.
It’s tricky meeting people you admire. You imagine how the conversation will go down: you’ll be witty and charming, and you’ll look cute, and it’ll feel like chatting to a friend. It’s so easy to imagine this is how it’ll go because you WANT to be this person’s friend. There could be another 50 people in the queue behind you, and you can’t help but feel that this experience is solely yours, that nobody else apart from you and your friends get to meet this person. Is it selfish? Maybe. Is it naive? Maybe. Is it completely understandable? Absolutely.
Luckily for us, Grace is beyond lovely, and was an utter dream to finally meet. I was so giddy after being in her presence (with the bonus of an outfit compliment), I nearly walked past the member of staff handing out the book.
To have the time to chat to her, even for a short time, was so empowering; I left feeling like I can do anything, that if I stopped being afraid of failure I could make something of my life. If I actually got my head aligning with my heart, I could do something good with my passion for writing. Interning at Buzz Magazine inspired me more than most experiences have ever done, but meeting one of my heroes kicked my ass out of the never-ending rut of ‘wanting-to-but-not-having-confidence-in-my-ability’ I had fallen into.
Within a week, I’d posted the first installment of this series.
The remainder of February was relatively uneventful; working, writing, keeping my ear close to the ground for opportunities, drinking my weight in alcohol during Wales’ 6 Nations matches.
It wasn’t the best of months for me, but I was going to be damned if it didn’t get better. As I write this in April, I can confirm that ‘better’ is exactly what happened.